Mega Shark Of Malibu AKA Malibu Shark Attack (2009)
A movie to watch if your eyeballs aren’t overheating, your brain is not busy with something marginally more important (like figuring out the square root of . . . . . . four) and your sense of humour is intact.
Peta Wilson is the only real “big” name in this hilariously bad movie about an earthquake releasing a pack of goblin sharks on some unsuspecting seaside funsters before a tsunami leaves some individuals, including some pretty easily flustered lifeguards, trapped and surrounded by the very water containing the very recently released sharks. What terrible luck.
Peta Wilson is barely watchable in her role, all of the male stars look like they’re providing their services for a few hours before getting back to their day job at the coffee shop and the only person who comes out of this looking even halfway decent is young Chelan Simmons (probably best known to horror fans as one of the blonde bimbo characters from Final Destination 3 and here playing . . . . a blonde bimbo).
The script is laughable, the effects are done on a budget that would not cover Michael Bay’s selection of “How To Make A Silent Art-house Movie” books and are repeated a dozen times (shark attack = same shot over and over again, results of shark attack = same shot over and over again, oncoming tsunami = same shot over and over again, you get the picture), you do not care about anyone involved and there is absolutely no tension whatsoever unless you happen to have an irrational fear of fake rubber fins.
Director David Lister goes to the back of the class and should, quite frankly, stay there if he could not see many of the glaring flaws so obvious to anyone watching this stuff. Then again, perhaps he knows exactly what he’s doing because, on the plus side, it’s a fantastic comedy if viewed in the right frame of mind and this is why I give it such a boost in my personal rating. Movies like this one (and Mega Piranha and Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus) are often slated by every sane person in the entrie world but to me they simply represent a CGI-equivalent of the old Bert I Gordon (Mr BIG) movies of yesteryear. And I always had a soft spot for those, too.
Mega Shark Of Malibu is released on DVD 20th September.
DIRECTOR: DAVID LISTER
CAST: PETA WILSON, CHELAN SIMMONS, REMI BROADWAY
RUNTIME: 86 MINS APPROX