Here is an example of what happens during the life cycle of a horror fan who becomes more and more enamoured of the genre with every outing he witnesses, no matter how bad they may be. I first saw this Friday The 13th movie when I was a young teen. Years ago I had somehow managed to see the second movie in the series, no idea how that happened as it terrified me beyond belief while boring my parents, but this was my first time watching Jason in full-on “hockey mask and machete mode”. And, even at such a young age, I thought it was one of the stupidest things I’d ever seen. I hated it.
Fast forward over 20 years and I slip this DVD in with delightful anticipation. It remains one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen. But I love it.
The story this time round? A young girl (Tina) with telekinetic powers kills her father by drowning him in Crystal Lake. When she returns to the place years later it is with her mother and a doctor who want her just to get better. Or so they say. The doctor may have his own agenda. Desperate to correct her mistake, Tina focuses on the dark waters of Crystal Lake and tries to will the body of her father back to the surface. Instead she brings up Jason. I’m sure the nearby house full of horny teens will thank her for that. Before you can say “premarital sex” it’s slice and dice time around the banks of Crystal Lake once again.
I know, I know, it’s stupid. But it now has a special place in my heart. The acting isn’t too bad, this movie saw the first appearance of fan favourite Kane Hodder in the Jason role and it has the brilliant moment in which Jason kills a hapless victim by trapping her in her sleeping bag and then swinging the bagged body into a tree. Hard.
With even less care than usual, the bodies start to pile up and nobody seems to notice that numbers are dwindling. People go off to have sex, people argue and go their separate ways, people wander aimlessly in the woods – everything is simply a set-up for a punchline involving Jason and his deliverance of death.
Lar Park-Lincoln plays Tina and makes for a cute and likeable lead (after some early scenes in which she just seems a little too moody to bother about). Terry Kiser is the best kind of selfish, horror movie, doctor and Susan Blu is just fine as Tina’s mother. Kevin Spirtas plays Nick, a young man who may or may not survive depending on just how much Tina can help out, and the rest of the cast is full of horny guys and women who seem pleasingly unaware of anything resembling a no-nudity clause. It’s not wall to wall naked bodies but we do get the usual, brief titillation that the series missed completely in the previous outing.
John Carl Buechler directs with an eye on the bodycount rather than anything resembling a tight, smart horror movie and the script by Daryl Haney and Manuel Fidello has exactly the same focus.
It’s not big, it’s not clever, but it’s a lot of fun.
DIRECTOR: JOHN CARL BUECHLER
WRITER: DARYL HANEY, MANUEL FIDELLO
STARS: LAR PARK-LINCOLN, TERRY KISER, SUSAN BLU, KEVIN SPIRTAS, KANE HODDER, SUSAN JENNIFER SULLIVAN
RUNTIME: 88 MINS APPROX