Michael Myers skipped last year’s All Hallow’s Eve due to social distanced trick or treating being cancelled due to COVID. As a result he is making up for lost time with the aptly named Halloween Kills.
This is the section where one would insert a plot synopsis however this film more than most requires very little introduction. It is what is referred to as a Ronseal film. In that it does exactly what it says on the tin. It is set on Halloween and Michael Myers Kills… a LOT. Sadly after a fun prologue set on that fateful night in 1978, this is a contender for the most definitive example of the recent trend of “if you have seen the trailer for the film, you have pretty much seen the film”.
After bringing the original Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis back and giving her a Sarah Connor-esque makeover, it is disappointing to see her sidelined on a hospital bed for the majority of the film. Her substitutes? A collection of all the minor characters from the original film that were left alive. Now all grown up and served up to Myers as an all-you-can-kill buffet. Although those hoping to see Paul Rudd as Tommy Doyle again (he appeared in Halloween 5) will have to make do with Anthony Michael Hall instead thanks to a scheduling conflict with Ghostbusters Afterlife.
Those wanting to see Michael Myers doing what he does best (even at the ripe old age of 61 if the timeline is correct), will be satisfied. There are multiple kills that will please gorehounds yet very little else if we are being honest. Once you have seen him kill a dozen people with a pickaxe or knife, it gets kind of repetitive. Same goes for an angry mob shouting lines that use of combination of the words “Michael Myers/Boogeyman/Evil Dies/Must Die Now/Tonight!” (delete as applicable).
*Side Note – Do not give false promises of “He dies tonight|” when you have already announced that this is the middle part of a trilogy. Ensuring he will survive till at least next year’s festivities.
Sheriff Brackett returns to repeat his line from John Carpenter’s seminal horror. “It’s Halloween, everyone’s entitled to one good scare”. It is therefore deeply upsetting that they didn’t put a single scare in the final movie.
This gigantic flaw in a horror film lies in the series’ revision of the character of Myers. He has gone from the Boogeyman to the Terminator. Gone are the childlike, playful kills where he would dress up in a white sheet to pretend to be another character. Gone are the creepy moments of appearing outside in a garden behind the laundry before disappearing a moment later. In the first film, it was left as a haunting mystery as to how he survived at the end. Here he is impervious to any form of pain and seemingly just goes in a straight line killing anyone and everyone in his path. No mystery. Only death.
It is a shame after David Gordon Green’s effective soft reboot/recalibration of the franchise, all that good will is squandered here. After 106 minutes of people shouting “EVIL MUST DIE TONIGHT!”, perhaps it is time for the franchise to finally die.
Halloween Kills is in cinemas from October 15th
Director: David Gordon Green
Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judi Greer, Andi Matichek, Nick Castle
Runtime: 106 minutes