Flim Weakly – Fifty Shades Of Grey

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Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Film cannot be truth, because it is made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to Flim Weakly.

This week, my thoughts on…

Flim Weakly - Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty shades of Grey

There’s a new one of this coming out, so thought I should probably see the first bit, ’cause I don’t want to look stupid.

Anyway, a lot of people were talking about this film, which always means it will be brilliant, unless it’s not, so I gave it a shot.

There’s a dude who lives in a large shiny building that looks like “The Apprentice”, and a girl with eyes and breasts who comes to interview him, but decides to do sexing instead, because he said he’d make her sign a contract, but that it totally wouldn’t make her a hooker.

There was about 20 minutes of sex things, but nothing my laptop can’t do on a weekend.

Watched it with a mate, who cried through most of it, but he is only 6.

Marks out of 10…

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