Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. A Quiet Place cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I rented a film using the computer, which I didn’t know was a thing.
A Quiet Place
The film is set in a place where trees grow and there are monster things who like to eat kids or something. There is a family who can’t talk and one girl who can’t hear either, which means they must be inbred, I think, because that’s what happens when you marry a cousin. Or at least that’s what my Uncle Paul tells me, and he should know because he married his.
Anyway, the mum and dad must like each other, because they have tons of kids and she’s cooking another one in her stomach, which is where babies go to get ready to be born.
Then the monsters show up, and things go tits up.
I think it’s a documentary about Sweden, or maybe Belgium. Definitely not here. We don’t have big monsters here.
Marks out of 10….
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Because they aren’t that stupid.