Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Ad Astra cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I went to space. In a film that sounds like a car.
The dude from Benjamin Button does a space shit when he finds out that his Dad, who went to the Moon or something, is dead, but not really, so goes into space to look for him, except he shouldn’t have bothered, because his Dad is the dude from Men In Black who wasn’t black, which makes him racist, I think.
Anyway, his Dad is a bit of a dick, the girl from that Aerosmith asteroid movie is in it, but doesn’t talk, Benjamin stands in a lot of elaborately designed rooms and the special effects make space happen, a lot, but makes it happen in a way that is way more exciting than space actually is, because space is just full of blackness. Which might be racist as well, but not as racist as the dude from Men In Black that isn’t black.
The bits that weren’t space were boring, though.
Marks out of 10….
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Because they aren’t that stupid.