Flim Weakly Review- Aquaman

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Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Aquaman cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, I had a fish supper and it got me thinking. Which felt weird.

Aquaman

A giant fish man twats a lot of CGI shit with his fork, because he misses his mum, or something. His mum is played by Tom Cruise’s wife, who is no longer Tom Cruise’s wife, because she doesn’t believe in aliens.

Anyway, they all live underwater, but can totally speak to each other. He can make the waves do stuff, which its kind of cool. There’s also a fish girl in it, but you see more of the fish man with his boobs out than you do of her. But I didn’t mind that.

Which is making me feel weird in my special purpose.

But then his mum comes back and she’s all a bit “Whoah”, then the CGI goes all “Bleeeurghhh!!!” and then it ends.

Like most movies do.

It was excellent.

Marks out of 10……..

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Aquaman are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.

Because they aren’t that stupid. uncti

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