Flim Weakly Review- Blade Runner 2049
Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Film cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I wasn’t allowed to go and see Solo, so I made Solo come to me.
Blade Runner 2049
The dude from Drive goes to future world, where everything is coloured blue and orange. When he gets there, he has sex with two women that aren’t real (which I do all the time, so it’s no big deal really), then he meets Han Solo, who must be really rich, because he lives in a massive house in a place with its own sand. There’s a dog in there, but it doesn’t do anything.
It also has a really cool bit where nothing happens for ages, but you don’t mind because it all looks so awesome, and who needs pacing anyway?
Marks out of 10…
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Because they aren’t that stupid.