Flim Weakly Review- Captain Marvel


Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Captain Marvel cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, I watched a film that was a big deal because it had a girl in it and made lots of money.

Captain Marvel

A girl comes from space but doesn’t know who she is, even though she totally looks like Brie Larson.

She then goes back in time or something, and meets Samuel L. Jackson, but he’s really young, even though we know he’s really, really old.

Space bastards don’t like her, she glows in the dark and can fly. She punches old women as well, which is fine because of girl power.

Then she fights the dude from The Talented Mr. Ripley, who she thought was nice, but actually isn’t because he’s a dick and doesn’t like girl power.

Anyway, she wins, and her cat is a bit of a twat.

I had to pee twice, so I guess I missed the bit with Iron Man, or whoever else was in it.

Marks out of 10……..


Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Captain Marvel are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.

Because they aren’t that stupid.

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