Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Film cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
“Bambi” didn’t.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, space rocks!!!
Deep Impact
I thought this was a film about a giant space rock that is evil, but the poster lied to me.
It is actually a film about a housewife that can’t find satisfaction from sex, because her clitoris is in the very back of her throat, so she has to give a lot of BJ’s.
And I didn’t see Morgan Freeman in there either. At all. And I really looked.
It wasn’t too bad, though, even if it was filmed with grainy film stock, bad lighting and weird looking actors.
Marks out of 10…
10.
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Because they aren’t that stupid.
