Flim Weakly Review- Downton Abbey
Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Downton Abbey cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, posh things happened.
Paddington’s dad owns a massive house and tons of people live in it, including poor people who work for the posh dicks upstairs.
The poor people are all annoyed about being poor, while the posh ones are just as miserable being posh, because it means they have to throw parties and dinners for royalty, because they can’t just phone their local Chinese take away. Because posh people don’t eat that stuff.
Anyway, some things that aren’t important happen. A lot. And then there’s a bit where things go “Oooh”, but its only because a salad fork was out of place, or something, and that’s about the most dramatic thing that happens, except for the bit where the house blew up and everybody died, which only happened in my mind because I was bored, and when I’m bored I make up my own film using my brain.
But you don’t win Oscars for brain films.
Marks out of 10….
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Because they aren’t that stupid.