Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Film cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, war came to my Sky Cinema Box.
A beach fights a war for ages, while some planes fly about hitting each other. There are lots of soldiers standing around, which is a stupid way to fight a war, and some old man on a boat talks like he’s not from here, but he is, because he’s on our side, even though his boat kills a boy.
The music is really loud and the bad guy from Batman turns out to be a hero, by being the best at killing air bastards. I think they may have dropped the bits of film on the ground when they were putting it together, too, because it’s all over the place, mate.
Marks out of 10…
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Because they aren’t that stupid.