Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Glass cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, it was like Die Hard was put in a blender with a Marvel movie.
Nick Fury has stupid hair and lives on a wheelchair, because his body is shit. Professor X is twelve people and they’re all bastards. That woman that’s in all those American Horror Stories is a doctor who doesn’t like either of them. She also doesn’t like Die Hard, who looks really, really old now, but can still lift stuff and lob it at bad guys, which is what he kinda does, except theres so much talking in the film that when the action happened, I had fallen asleep.
Anyway, no one wins and then you tube is the twist.
Marks out of 10……..
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Because they aren’t that stupid.