Flim Weakly Review – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

The sorting hat gave up on him.


Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, I tried to read the book, but did it wrong, so I watched the film instead.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone


A baby who’s a demon or something, is put into foster care with some bastards because his parents decided to be killed. Then he grows up and gets kidnapped by Cracker, and sent to a really posh private school for possessed kids. Once there he gets grief from an albino, is given a ginger room mate and gets an unhealthy amount of attention from the headmaster. Health and Safety appears to be dodgy too and the food hall doesn’t have a roof.

There’s some chutney about a magical rock, but mostly I was freaked out by Emma Watson looking so young, because I only knew her from that Disney movie where she falls in love with a lion, or whatever.

Marks out of 10..





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Because they aren’t that stupid.

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