Stanley Kubrick was a man with a beard, who made films like Full Metal Jacket, just like that other man with the beard who makes films as well, except Kubrick didn’t make as many films as the other one, and definitely didn’t make E.T.
And if he had made E.T., it would have been way different, with no kids, or funny shit.
Anyway, Flickfeast asked me to watch all of his films, because it was his birthday this month, or something, which I don’t think is right, because I’m pretty sure he’s dead, and dead people can’t have birthdays, because they can’t eat the cake.
Because they’re dead.
Think about it.
Anyway, this week…
Full Metal Jacket
A war bastard shouts at some men until they become soldiers, which works on everyone except the fat guy, because he’s fat. He shoots the war bastard, then shoots himself in the head part of his body, and then the film goes somewhere foreign, where there is a war happening, like in Belgium or somewhere. Some of the soldiers get shot by a girl, which I thought was funny. Then they shot the girl.
Which was…less funny, obviously.
Everything’s on fire at the end.
Marks out of 10…
…8.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Full Metal Jacket are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.
Because they aren’t that stupid.
