Flim Weakly Review- Mary Poppins Returns

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Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Mary Poppins Returns cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, 2018 died, so I got out of the house and went to the pictures, which was heaving, because the kids aren’t back to school yet, which is a bloody nightmare if you don’t like kids, which I don’t.

Mary Poppins Returns

There’s a homeless guy who has that singing disease thing, and gives it to everybody else, only to make friends with a flying witch lady who comes from the sky, using her umbrella, and is played by that woman who couldn’t speak in that horror film about the sound bastards who didn’t like families.

Anyway, her name is Mary Poppins, just like the lady in that film hMary Poppins, except she isn’t her, because she is probably dead now of being old. The homeless guy makes her sick with the singing virus too, and then they all sing and dance, before tripping balls and seeing some cartoons jumping about like they’re in Roger Rabbit, except not as entertaining.

There’s a bit with some kids, a bit with some kids who have grown up and a bit with that dude from The Kings Speech, who couldn’t talk right, but who seems better now.

Might make a good franchise.

Marks out of 10……..

9.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Mary Poppins Returns are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.

Because they aren’t that stupid.

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