Flim Weakly Review- Murder On The Orient Express

His brain is the biggest mystery of all.


Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Murder On The Orient Express cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, my mum was using the big TV, because she’s a dick, so we watched this together.

Murder On The Orient Express

Some posh people, and Johnny Depp, get on a train and then one of the posh people murders him, because nobody likes Johnny Depp anymore.

Not even as a pirate.

Anyway, a man with a moustache, and a voice that isn’t from here, gets all the posh people together and talks to them for ages until he decides who did it.

I won’t say who it was.

Because I wasn’t paying attention, because I got bored and it doesn’t really matter anyway, does it? Because it’s not real, unless it’s a documentary, which this might be, I dunno.

There’s a girl from Star Wars in it, though.

Star Wars was good.

Marks out of 10..





Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Murder On The Orient Express are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.

Because they aren’t that stupid.

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