Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Once Upon A Time…in Hollywood cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I saw a film based on a true story that was not real.
Once Upon A Time…in Hollywood
An actor who lives in a place called Hollywood is best friends with Brad Pitt, who has stopped being an actor and started letting people hurt him for a living.
There are some hippies who hate everyone, and a guy with a beard who is their leader. Everyone is in bare feet, which is almost as creepy as the hippies. The actor is having trouble being an actor, and starts to get pissy about it. His mate fights some karate dude, there’s a bit about a girl who doesn’t die, and then another longer bit where a different girl dies by having her face twatted off of everything in the room.
Then the actor gets pissed up and goes to a party he wasn’t invited to, but it’s ok because none of it happened anyway, and the film went on for almost as long as Titanic, which this film wasn’t, despite having the dude in it that got frozen, or some shit.
Marks out of 10….
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Because they aren’t that stupid.