Flim Weakly Review – Phantom Thread

Class, fashion, repressed sexuality. And that's just the reviewer.


Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Phantom Thread cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, I classed this shit up…

Phantom Thread


Phantom Thread is a film about a man who orders a really big breakfast. Then he takes out his waitress, who is really pretty, in a weird, creepy kind of way, but then he doesn’t have sex with her. Instead, he makes her into a dress and then shits himself.

It was probably the breakfast.

The film’s title made it sound like a horror movie, which it is not, which makes it a liar.

Marks out of 10….





Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Phantom Thread are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.

Because they aren’t that stupid.

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