Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Film cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, my girlfriend said she wanted to see the new Spielberg. Well, I say girlfriend. I mean my mum.
Ready Player One
A computer boy lives in a van on top of another van, in the future. He still has broadband though, even though it’s a shit hole, which must be really good, because when he plays his computer games, it actually takes him inside the game, so it must be fiber optic.
Anyway, there’s a dick in a suit who wants to rule the internet, I think, but computer boy says NO! and then things go all Warcraft, except with way better effects.
King Kong’s in it. So’s the dead girl from Me, Earl and the Dying Girl, except she isn’t dead, which makes her a liar.
Marks out of 10…
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Because they aren’t that stupid.