Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Rocketman cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I’m still standing.
A man leaves a fancy dress party to go to an AA meeting, where he sits and tells a very long story about how he couldn’t stop singing. Which then made him famous and full of drugs.
Everybody has that weird illness that makes them sing their words, just like in that Wa Wa Land crap, and they all dress funny.
His Mum looks about the same age as him and he gets really happy, before getting really sad, because he fancies his mate, but his mate’s all “Nah, not for me” and he thinks “Aww”.
Then he meets the dude from that Bodyguard show and goes balls deep, which makes him happy.
There’s a bit where he flies, a bit where he drowns and a bit where his Dad doesn’t give him a hug, which is apparently all it takes to inspire you to write those Lion King songs and get filthy rich, which totally makes the sad stuff seem less sad.
It was all right.
Marks out of 10….
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Because they aren’t that stupid.