Flim Weakly Review: Star Wars Special- Attack of the Clones


Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Star Wars Episode 2:Attack of the Clones cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.

Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.

So, what, in fact, is a film?

Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.

But not every film does.

“Bambi” didn’t.

Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.

Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.

This week, I continue watching Star Wars, which is just like Star Trek, except it isn’t, because when you say it is, the internet goes tits.

Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones

The small boy from the first one, which is not the fourth one, even though it is, has grown up really quickly and become a large emo boy and he loves the princess queen girl and wants to have sex with her, because he probably saw Closer and she took her gear off in that, but you didn’t see anything, but he wants to make a space baby with her anyway, but his mate with the beard is all like “Bros before Hos” and cock blocks him.

There some chutney about clones being made on another planet, for war, and then monster shit happens and the guy from Snakes On A Plane says “Fuck this” and they all fight.

The bad guys get away and the now big small boy gets laid.

Yoda does ninja shit and sounds like Miss Piggy from The Muppets.

Marks out of 10….


Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.

Because they aren’t that stupid.

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