Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. The Favourite cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I wanted to see that movie about Queen, where the dude from Mr. Robot has a moustache and sings, but the cinema put me in the wrong screen, watching a movie about the Queen.
The film is set ages ago, and looks like it was made using Go Pros, which is amazing, because they didn’t have Go Pros back then, which means it’s a time travel movie as well,
The Queen is bonkers and shouts a lot, and looks like that woman from Broadchurch. There’s also that girl from La La Land, except she fancies girls instead of Ryan Gosling, who’s not in this movie, because he can’t time travel.
There’s another woman as well, who also wants to be mates with the Queen, even though she isn’t really a very nice person, so why anyone would want to be mates with her is anyone’s guess.
Everyone’s shoes made a lot of noise when they walked, there’s a bit with a horse, a bit where the girl from La La Land fingers the Queen, instead of Ryan Gosling, and a lot of bitchy shit that feels like Mean Girls, but it isn’t, because that would be weird.
It won awards because it can.
Marks out of 10……..
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Because they aren’t that stupid.