Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Toy Story 4 cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, my mum said she wanted me out of the house, because Mr. Roberts from down the road was coming over and she told me she didn’t want me cock blocking her. So I went to see that toy film.
Toy Story 4
Possessed toys start to consider the meaning of life when their owner makes a freaky fork thing come to life and it’s all like “No, this is bullshit!” and the cowboy dude is like “No, it’s allright” and the fork says “Piss off you nonce!” or something and jumps out of a campervan.
So, the cowboy dude goes after him and they end up in a creepy antique shop, with a lonely doll and they find that Bo Peep girl from the first film and she says being lost is cool and the cowboy dude buys it and stays with her at the funfair, making it all seem really sad and poignant and erotic.
I mean, neurotic.
Marks out of 10……..
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Because they aren’t that stupid.