Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Film cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, I signed on, and it made me money, so I watched….
The Wolf Of Wall Street
A 12 year old man makes lots of money by watching numbers fly by on a wall. Lots of things happen for a very, very, very, very long time. I mean, seriously long. Like “Lawrence of Arabia” long! His fat friend gets his knob out. All the girls get naked. Everyone goes bleurgh!!!!!!! on lemon sherbets. The 12 year old man goes to jail for not filling out a bank deposit slip properly, or something. He has a boat but loses it.
Marks out of 10…
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Because they aren’t that stupid.