Jean Luc Godard once said “Film is truth, 24 frames per second.” Now, I don’t know what that means, but I do know it’s wrong. Bird Box cannot be truth, because it’s made of film, and truth is made of emotions or something. I also don’t know who Jean Luc Godard is, or what 24 frames have to do with it, as frames are usually found in Asda, for pictures and photos to sit in.
Although, actually, films are made of pictures, aren’t they? So maybe that’s what he meant, in which case, he’s very clever, even if he’s from somewhere that isn’t where I’m from.
So, what, in fact, is a film?
Well, it’s a thing you go to see when it’s too early to see it on tv. It even comes out before the dvd. And it costs three times as much as watching it for free, which is really stupid. Unless it has nudity in it.
But not every film does.
“Bambi” didn’t.
Neither did “Spaceballs” and that has ‘balls’ in the title.
Welcome to FLIM WEAKLY.
This week, the movies came to my tv, just like I do sometimes.
Bird Box
That girl who was trapped in space, stops being in space and goes to live in the real world, except the real world is broken, because the wind is evil, a bit like in that shit storm Mark Wahlberg movie.
She has two kids, and they are all blind, or something, and they get in a boat, which is stupid, because if you can’t see, a boat is not going to help you get your eyes back.
Then the film breaks and goes backwards to show you what she did before she had kids, which mainly consists of hiding in a really, really nice house, from the evil wind monster thing. There are other people in the house too, including the dude from Moonlight, the dude from Get Out and two disposable women.
Oh and that dude from Being John Malkovich who played John Malkovich.
Things go tits up a lot, and then people die, a lot. And the film goes on, a lot.
There are birds in a box, which I thought was really clever, because that’s what it’s called.
Marks out of 10..
7.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions on Bird Box are those of the author and do not reflect the views and opinions of FlickFeast or any of its affiliates.
Because they aren’t that stupid.
